Dad jokes are kind of like a Barmitzvah. It’s a rite of passage for every man who is lucky enough to call themselves a father. The dad joke is recognized by four different qualities — lame, unbearably cheesy, painfully punny, and if told by one’s father, it elicits the standard annoying response of “DAAAAAAAD.”
However, there is only one minor difference between bad jokes and dad jokes… Canada. Believe it or not, our friends up North should be considered the top culprits. The Canadians found a way to have fun while shocking the world, and it’s hard to believe that their puns and their country are real.
Watch Out For Those Things, Deer
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The audacity of that pun is STAG-ering! It’s only one way or the highway when traveling the roads of the great white north.
You either use the horn, or you get the horns. Especially in the middle of nowhere in Northern Alberta, the aftermath would cost more than a buck.
Eggstra! Eggstra! Read All About It
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Wondering what all that jibberish is? Say no more. Underneath the ‘eggstras’ you have a menu with the option of having grilled cheese with bacon or cream cheese.
If this amazes you, so will the most popular food in Canada: poutine.
What Does A Dog Say?
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I mean, if they have one for dogs, they need one for cats too. The cat equivalent to this would be “Meow, hiss, meow, repeat”.
As long as cat owners clean up after their little ones, everything is good. Hey now, some of us are still trying to figure out what a fox says. A Canadian beverage that is so heavenly is just around the corner.
Want Some Cream With Your Latt-eh?
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Tim Hortons would be up to something like this. It’s a typical Canadian thing to do since many people file in line for their morning coffee every day.
Despite some speed bumps, Canadians will keep going to Timmies for the pun-filled jokes, and their favorite coffee, a double-double.
Where The Streets Have No Name
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Fact: this is really Porters Lake, Nova Scotia. Second fact: the community has a rather confusing set of street names.
Yes, there’s an actual street called “The Other Street”. No one really knows the reference to it, but this is something that sounds like a funny reference to the U2 song ‘Where The Streets Have No Name.’
Oh U So Funny
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No, this doesn’t taste like maple syrup. There really is no better name for a Canadian IPA than this one. On a side note: Canadian beer is heavenly. Those folks certainly know how to make alcohol and consume beer.
See, not every beer needs to taste like water, am I right Bud Light? Still on the way, a lack of common sense is present when it comes to the train station.
Jesus Walks, And He Has Air Conditioning
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You win some, you lose some. The Presbyterian church clearly knows how to roll and throw jokes in our face.
Anytime a church makes this type of sign, ‘Jesus Walks’ by Kanye West comes to mind. If more churches did this, maybe more people will show up on Sundays.
Nah Nah Nah Nah Nah Nah Nah Nah Nah
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Either The Beatles had a strange obsession with Canada, or someone is terribly misinformed about the song’s title.
Either way, this car owner is a passionate fan of the Fab Four. They’re not the only ones with this as a license plate — a bunch of people over in the UK probably have the same plate as well.
Run Away Train Never Going Back
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Come on, man, you had one job. Clearly, whoever was in charge didn’t have an ounce of common sense.
More train stations should have signs like this. But more importantly, it’s a moment when everyone who can’t read simple English realized they might be a train. The best sale is missing one specific thing, and the polar bears won’t be fooled by it.
Photo Credit: @saramsheridan/Twitter
Where the kids are having water gun fights, and everyone is telling you be of good cheer. Honestly, summertime in Canada is peaceful.
You’re surrounded by the fresh air and can finally take advantage of the gorgeous weather. Outside of the humidity and bugs, a road trip to the cottage is a typical summer thing in the north.
When Canada Day Is Just Around The Corner
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When it comes to July 1, don’t ever freak out about a Canadian-themed ice cream. Scotsburn has your back if you need something to feel a little bit Canadian.
An iced cappuccino from Tim Horton’s would do the trick, but parliament chill is a lot cooler than Justin Beiber.
Best Sale Ever
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Canada has come a long way since 2012. In fact, the dealerships up north send out apologizes for when you have to pay. Polar bears aren’t present here because they know the world isn’t ending, but the polar caps are melting at an alarming rate.
The only thing that’s missing here is a hockey reference. On the way, one bars support is something that truly brings Canadians together.
Three Cheers For Reefer Madness
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Well, it’s 4:20 somewhere. Most people will get giddy and excited seeing a sign like this. Hemp actually has a number of benefits, but most people might just overlook that.
The next thing you know, Snoop Dogg is out on the streets of British Columbia and handing out special brownies.
Never Cared For What They Do
Photo Credit: @orionbuske/Twitter
That’s some top drawer stuff right there. Existential pun graffiti is the best kind of graffiti you’ll come across in Canada.
It seems as if this Canadian who tossed out the mattress was listening to a certain song when taking out the trash. ‘Nothing Else Matters’ by Metallica.
Support The Bears
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This can go either way. Whatever you think about of the sign, just assume that it’s all fun and games.
It’s not like the bar is going to randomly start arming people. It’s a friendly pun to protect yourself from bears. Just ahead, a Canadian store that’s similar to Lowes has a sign that’s right up the alley of both men and women.
What Did One Ion Say To The Other
Photo Credit: @3M_Canada/Twitter
Oh no, George Orwell’s 1984 has become a reality. For a second, that joke became suspiciously similar to ‘I’ll Make Love To You’ by Boyz II Men.
It wouldn’t come as a surprise if 3M suddenly added cameras in their post-it notes. Now, every kid in college will be able to cheat.
Every Dog Is Mad Because They Missed Their Morning Walk
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Serves you right for feeding us lies all the time. Being a meteorologist pretty much means you’re a liar.
Sure, you tell us on TV that a major snowfall warning is coming, but the next day, the sky is blue and the sun is shining. It makes anyone wonder how these types of people can pass a lie detector test.
A Canadian Tire Bathroom Sign
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Canadian Tire is pretty much like Lowes. This sign makes so much sense because every guy knows that even if they want power tools, they have to wander through the cooking isle first.
See, Canadian Tire has everything for everyone.
Arret Right Now
Photo Credit: @CTibbits/Twitter
If only Quebec people were this funny. They have a tendency to be not-so-nice to other Canadians, but at least someone knows how to have fun.
Not sure if the lock is supposed to be apart of it. However, it seems as if it’s used to keep the butts from falling all over the place.
Meanwhile, In Atwood, Ontario, Canada
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You would think that’s a little optimistic sign. However, you have to admire the enthusiasm of Atwood, Ontario.
Trust me on this one, there’s not even a population of 1,000 people in Atwood. The only real exciting thing in this dinky town are the two churches; the Atwood United Church and the Atwood Presbyterian Church.