You know that feeling when you’re just spacing out in the shower, letting the warm water fall on your face when suddenly, you’re struck with an idea. You realize something about the state of the world that you hadn’t realized before.
These are all of the very best realizations from a subreddit known to us as /r/Showerthoughts. Our brains come up with the coolest stuff when we’re wet and isolated from everybody else. Keep reading for true, intuitive facts you’ve never really thought about before. Open your eyes. The world will never be the same.
What Is Lurking Beyond?
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This is a pretty excellent metaphor for anxiety. Anyone who plays first-person shooter games would know that sinking feeling.
Imagine having combat music in your head all the time. It’s like, “I know I should be worried about something, but what is it!”
A Land Before Time
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It’s so hard to imagine that there was a time before we knew about dinosaurs. There was so much we couldn’t even conceive of.
Think of the things we’ll never know existed… now that’s a scary thought. So much of the world is still a mystery.
Who Are Ceremonies Even For?
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This makes so much sense. Graduation ceremonies are long and boring, and nobody really enjoys them, but somehow we have all agreed that they have some sort of important meaning.
That paper diploma just reminds you about all your unpaid student debt. Pizza sounds like a way better option.
Speaking Of Graduation…
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Yeah, why are graduation ceremonies so slow? I seriously do not understand why people still participate in this madness. You can have your diploma mailed to you.
I get that graduating from college is a big accomplishment, but there have to be more entertaining ways to celebrate that accomplishment.
It’s The Nature Of The Beast
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Fidget Spinners are a trend like any other trend. They’ll come into the world with a vengeance, and then quickly disappear.
In ten years you’re going to see them on lists full of nostalgia about the late 2010s. But yeah, kids who fidget a lot probably don’t like to fidget with one toy for very long.
Lost Luggage Or Stolen Luggage?
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I’ve never even thought about how lax the security is around the baggage claim at airports. There really isn’t anything in place to stop people from just walking out with a bag that doesn’t belong to them.
This is why you keep all your valuables in your carry-on.
This Makes So Much Sense
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Unless you work night shifts. Then you’re probably perfectly happy with the way things are set up now.
“Fall Back” should still be at night though. That way we get one more hour of sleep and one less hour of work time. Why hasn’t this happened already?
Repair People, Try Not To Think About This One Too Much
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This is why you always offer your repair people plenty of cold drinks and ice cream. Working in hot conditions wouldn’t be so bad if you got free ice cream out of it.
Thanks, repair dudes and ladies everywhere for your service. Keep reading for a fact about the calendar that made us question everything.
Snoop, There It Is
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If you told me that Snoop Dogg is 60 years old right now, I probably would have believed it. That guy is outside of space and time and the normal rules of aging need not apply to him.
He’s actually 46. The more you know…
No Forklifts Allowed
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The thing is, I never have the urge to operate heavy machinery until I’m on medication and told by the label that I’m not allowed to.
Only in my drug-induced wooziness do I want to get behind the wheel of a tractor and start harvesting corn.
It’s Wednesday, My Dude
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Hmm… no physical proof of Wednesday, you say? Well then, I declare that it is Sunday and I don’t have to come to work.
Do I have physical proof that it’s Sunday? No, I do not. Let’s just create mass anarchy and say that every day is Sunday.
Who Lives In A Pineapple Under The Sea?
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“Bo-obs Bur-gers!” just doesn’t have the same ring to it. You have to add an unnatural syllable to “Bob’s”— it doesn’t sound right. You need those sweet, sweet spondees for the song to work.
In a spondee, two syllables in a row are stressed, as in “SpongeBob” and “SquarePants”— for the rhythmically uninitiated.
Well If He’s Doing it…
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I know by now that if I start mowing my lawn, my neighbor will be outside mowing his within half an hour. That’s because if my lawn is nice and well-kept, his is going to look really bad comparatively.
Also, hive mind or whatever. Keep reading to find out the most ironic thing about parents and the internet.
Pirates Must Have Had An Excellent HR Department
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If I asked you to imagine a pirate, you’d probably imagine one with a hook for a hand or a peg leg. These guys with missing limbs are often captains of ships, not just deck swabber or swashbucklers.
Good going, pirates. This almost makes up for all that stealing and killing you did.
A Sizeable Advantage
Does anybody really win spin the bottle though? I mean, I guess if you really want to kiss your friends, or if you just like kissing in general.
Or if you have a crush on someone in the group, and you want to be able to kiss them but never reveal that you actually have feelings for them…
No Mom, You Didn’t Really Win A Prize For Being The Millionth Visitor
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I cannot explain to you how many times I’ve had to debug my parents’ computer or explain to my grandparents that they shouldn’t open junk emails.
Were we just born better equipped to understand technology? I don’t think I’ve ever clicked on one of those banner ads about winning a contest, but nobody ever told me not to. I just sort of… knew.
An Adult When It Matters
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Can we come to some sort of consensus as to when adulthood actually starts? If it’s 18, then let’s have it be 18 everywhere.
I kind of get why restaurants would lower the age. A 13-year-old kid can eat just as much as an adult— but everyone takes up the same amount of space in a movie theater.
The Great Feeling Of Waking Up From A Bad Dream
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On the flip side (the cooler side of the pillow, if you will), it sucks to wake up from a really good dream to discover that everything you thought you accomplished didn’t really happen.
I once had a dream that I was the president of the United States, and I was super good at my job. Then I woke up and realized the truth.
Everyone Knows The Truth
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That person across the street is laughing into her phone. She probably hates my outfit. I think I need to go home and burn it. I should never be seen in public again.
My arms stick out too much when I walk, don’t they? I should try to keep them close to my body so people don’t think I’m weird. But what if I hold them too close to my body…
So Many Roads, So Little Time
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Actually, it probably took them a lot of time. “Who cares if there are a lot of roads, let’s drive down them all anyway!”
That way when people are confronted with this new amazing technology that lets them look at any place in the world, they will type in their own address and think it’s cool that they can see their house on the computer.