Before we stepped foot on this earth, we were given a CVS receipt-sized (really long) piece of paper with all of life’s terms and conditions. It outlined everything that we would experience in our lifetime in detail.
While some nerds read the whole thing, many of us inherently lazy people just pretended to read it and checked the “I accept” box at the end. Well, that’s the biggest regret many of us have to this day. We had our entire lives in writing and we took the easy way out by not reading it. Now every corner has a surprise that we aren’t expecting, and we’re barely surviving while our nerdy counterparts are thriving.
That’s A LOT Of Kids
Photo Credit: Reddit / @Watafakk
I’ve never actually thought about it, but this thermometer and a pregnancy test look very similar.
One kid is hard enough to take care of, imagine having 99.3 of them? 99 might be manageable, but that extra .3 of a kid would just send your emotional stability right over the edge.
They So Fast
Photo Credit: Instagram / @kalesalad
We’ve all been there, going above and beyond to try to fit in with your crush. If they collect Barbies, you collect Barbies.
If they love quantum physics, you not only love quantum physics, you ARE quantum physics. If they love the Volvo VNR 640, you’re driving one right now. Even if it’s a semi truck.
It Needs To Be Said
Photo Credit: Reddit / K1nsey
If you read this sign and legitimately thought it was necessary, you definitely didn’t read life’s terms and conditions.
Yes, gum addiction is a real thing but there should be no point when seeing pre-chewed gum in a urinal is tempting. Coming up, a picture that will infuriate you to no end and will make even the most angelic person want to key a car.
The Neighbors You Don’t Want To See
Photo Credit: Reddit / @MobyDobie
These people obviously didn’t read the instructions on how to be neighborly. They took some drastic measures to ensure that no one moves into the house next door.
Whenever there’s a showing it’s game time. They get out the creepy decorations and channel their inner crazy. Mow the lawn naked, start cutting watermelons with a machete on the driveway, they do whatever is necessary.
A Different Kind Of Hot Tub
If you’ve ever been to a festival, you know that the porta-potty is a sanctuary. It’s where you get away to collect your thoughts, where you hide from the sun and also do your business if you have to.
This guy took a different turn, he decided that he wanted to use it as his own personal hot tub. While it’s not recommended, we have to give him some respect for his, uh, creativity?
The Worst Type Of Person
Photo Credit: Twitter / @adunkel2016
There’s being the absolute worst person in the world, and then there’s this person. People who park like this think that we all live in their world. It’s obnoxious, to say the least.
We need more heroes like this chalk-wielding citizen to call these people out for their BS. On behalf of everyone who’s decent, thank you. Just ahead, that person who just can’t keep a secret apparently works for UPS and it’s hilarious.
Not All Heros Wear Capes
Photo Credit: Imgur / MadeInMI
Speaking of heroes, this guy is fighting for causes that need more attention. There should be a law that prevents people from putting Christmas decorations out before December.
Some people always need a holiday to look forward to. Just because Halloween is over on November 1st doesn’t mean that it’s “Christmas Season” so take those plastic deer off your front lawn, Debra.
New Burger Skin
Photo Credit: Reddit / DutonTheCrouton
With the knowledge that we’re being given about how much litter we create on a daily basis, this seems logical. Instead of polluting the earth, some people are polluting their bodies by eating the wrapping of burgers.
This takes tree-hugging to a completely new level that I don’t think needs to happen. There are other steps (like recycling in a less radical fashion) that can be taken before ruining the taste of a perfectly good cheeseburger.
No Secrets Are Safe With This Person
Photo Credit: Twitter / @NicoleDaviess_
One of life’s terms and conditions is that when someone tells you to keep a secret, you keep that secret.
In fine print right underneath that condition says that you’re going to want to tell EVERYONE that secret so you’ll have to be strong to ensure that it stays safe. This person didn’t stay strong. Coming up, a picture that is the definition of stupidity and we’re so happy it exists.
That’s Not How Mugs Work
Mornings are kind of like golf. One day you’re hitting your driver straight, and the next you feel like you feel like you’ve never held a club before in your life.
Barry is having one of those mornings where putting one foot in front of the other is absolutely impossible.
Packaged Sandwiches Shouldn’t Be A Thing
There are a lot of food items that are perfectly okay to eat out of a package. For example, it’s completely acceptable to eat Skittles out of the bag (although they taste better when you grab them from a glass jar in the middle of your grandma’s dinner table).
“Wow, that pre-packaged sandwich is the tastiest and fresh food item I’ve ever had.” – said no one, ever.
This Is Mind Blowing Stupidity
This is actually a genius move. Depending on how bad of a person he is, that reward money could be life-changing.
I would love to be a fly on the wall of the moment he realized that he wouldn’t be getting any money for turning himself in. I have a feeling his facial expression would’ve looked very similar to the one above. Just ahead, this guy is about to ruin his (and his future families) life, right after he turns on a chainsaw.
Kind Of A Backhanded Compliment?
In a twisted way, this is kind of a compliment. Love is love, and it doesn’t mean that you endorse everything your family does in their personal lives.
But this little girl wants her family to know that she has unconditional love for them no matter what and I think that’s beautiful.
People Who Do Yoga Are So Weird
Photo Credit: Imgur
Can we get this out in public right now, people who live and breathe for yoga are weird. They’re kind of like the physical activity version of a vegan.
As you can see, they have no problem just sticking their heads up each other’s, uh, nevermind. You can see everything you need to with this picture.
Let’s Hope It Doesn’t Turn On
Photo Credit: Reddit / Purbolift
Not only did this guy not read life’s T&C’s but he obviously didn’t read the chainsaw’s either.
Let’s hope that he already has kids, or has no plans of having them because he’s about to ruin that opportunity for himself in a few seconds. Coming up, the face of defeat perfectly encapsulated in a picture.
Adds Some Bulk
Photo Credit: Imgur
It’s intimidating to go to the gym. You look around and see buff guys whose arms are the size of your entire body.
It’s hard enough to lift 20 lbs dumbbells, so any added bulk is necessary. This guy is artificially giving his lower back and butt some size.
The Most Intimidating Professor
Photo Credit: Imgur
Let’s be honest, professors are intimidating enough. They basically hold a nuke that can dictate whether your life is going to be successful or not.
They have the power to fail you at any given moment. Now, imagine your professor is Iron Man. You best believe that not a single soul would be going to his office hours.
This Is What Defeat Looks Like
Photo Credit: Reddit / gramadaru
One major portion of life’s T&C’s is that you have to learn to cook to keep yourself alive, literally. Some people, like Guy Fieri and Gordon Ramsey, are excellent at this.
This is the face of someone who has just realized that they’re defeated. There’s being devastated and then there’s “spaghetti fallen on the ground with a cat playing in it” devastated.
Make Them Regret Being Alive
Photo Credit: Reddit / Lowghen
There are people who like spice and then there are psychos. If you hear someone say that water is “too spicy” you need to call the police immediately.
While serial killers come in many different shapes and sizes, one thing they all have in common is that they find spice “repulsive.”