It’s mindblowing that people think the universe is on our side. Hippies (and my mom) think that by giving positive vibes out to the universe that it’ll give them back to you in some abstract way. I couldn’t agree less.
Very bad things happy to very good people and very good things happen to very bad people. The universe seems to be bipolar in their favors and there’s nothing that proves that point more than this article. Enjoy this list of good samaritans feeling the wrath of the universe which is clearly not on their side.
But Will You Open If I Say “Pretty Please?”
The rush of knowing that you’re about to go to the zoo is like none other. You envision yourself staring face to face with a gorilla, a tiger, and a bear.
You put on your best faceless animal hat to match your brown pants and then boom. You’re hit with the reality that it’s closed. This isn’t just a day ruiner, it’s a week ruiner.
Walking On Stilts Is Tough
Photo Credit: Imgur
Can we just talk about how hard it is to walk in stilts, I mean heels? The lengths that girls will go to look taller is incredible.
They’ll style their hair like the Eiffel Tower while prancing around in millimeter-wide heels trying not to get stuck in sewage grates. More praise needs to be given to women for this reason alone.
It Was A Good Attempt, Nonetheless
We’ve all been there, it’s three in the morning and you’re craving pizza after a night out. You order it and by the time it comes you’re already slipping into a blackout.
You’re able to grab the pizza but that’s as far as you get because you immediately face plant into the hardwood. No pizza should ever get left behind, so this picture is actually hard to look at. Coming up, a picture that perfectly describes why cats are absolutely going to murder us all.
This Has Got To Be A Joke
Photo Credit: Reddit / CaptainOnBoard
Imagine being this close to winning the lottery! Do you even continue to live your peasant life the following day?
There’s a lot of inconveniences in the world, but none are as big as missing out on a million dollars in this way. This would cause some serious psychological damage.
This Is A Story I Want To Know More About
Photo Credit: Reddit / KevlarYarmulke
Was there any device in the world that could take out your ankles and rupture your Achilles tendon quite like a scooter?
Those things would spin around at mach speed and take out your entire leg. You’ve never felt pain until you’ve been smacked by one of these.
Cats Are Evil, It’s Straight Forward
Photo Credit: Instagram
So let’s get one thing straight, cats are here for the sole purpose of killing humans. They somehow managed to disguise themselves as a domestic pet, but they’re murderers.
Mark my words, by the year 2034 cats will be our bosses and we will be their slaves. They’re going to make us poop in litter boxes and sleep in cages. It’s one hundred percent guaranteed. Just ahead, a girl made the most of her time accidentally spent in the men’s washroom and it’s hilarious.
House Fly Eyelashes
Photo Credit: Twitter / @MCreativeCakes
For anyone who has eyesight problems, you know that the world is a completely different place when you can’t see.
It’s a dark, blurry, confusing environment where humans turn into fridges and fridges turn into elephants. You’re just a blob. That’s why putting a house fly on your eyelashes isn’t all that surprising for a blind person.
“When Was The Last Time You Flossed?”
Photo Credit: Twitter / @sarbeaaaaar
Is there a worse place to go than the dentist? The easy answer to that is no. There’s nothing fun about getting a needle jabbed into your gums and getting told you need to floss more.
I don’t know that dentists realize that normal people don’t stab their gums with swords on a regular basis. So yes, it makes sense they’re bleeding. Combine that with the fact that you always feel like you’re drowning and you got yourself a nightmare.
Since When Did We Get Urinals?
Photo Credit: Twitter / @lilpeachyqueen
It’s actually fairly common to see girls in the guy’s washroom at clubs and bars. The line to get into a female bathroom is about 10x longer than it is for the men’s.
Girls will sneak into the guy’s washroom and Mission Impossible their way into the stall. If a girl is actually confused about whether they’re in the right washroom just look for the urinals. Coming up, the face of complete devastation after spilling Doritos and we can’t blame him.
… And Back To Bed I Go…
Photo Credit: Twitter / @TheDeigoFranco
This is what nightmares are made of. In high school or college, the night before an exam was always the most stressful.
You set fifteen different alarms to make sure that you don’t sleep through them and miss it. Just reading this conversation makes my heart sink to the deepest part of the ocean.
The Jackpot Is Growing
Photo Credit: Reddit / ioxenus
Vending machines are very untrustworthy. The error rate has to be around twenty percent which means you’re playing with fire everytime you put your money in.
There are so many things that can go wrong when you put in your order. The most common is the item just getting lodged between the glass and the shelf. It’s insanely frustrating.
This Is A New Level Of Devastation
Photo Credit: Imgur
The happiness you feel when you’re in the middle of indulging in a bag of Doritos is unlike anything else.
From the crunch to the flavor to the crumbs, the experience is always positive. That is unless you drop them all over the road. If you’re thinking positively, at least you gave the pigeons their dinner for the night. Coming up, a student was tasked with feeding his classmates and it goes horribly wrong.
Frying Pan To The Face?
Photo Credit: Reddit / @GiveMeInternet
Imagine buying a beautiful piece of art for a bazillion dollars and then dropping it before you even got home.
This sculpture looks like he just got a frying pan to the face. For any Lord of the Rings fan, the end result kind of looks like Lurtz. It might be a bit of a stretch, but let’s go with it.
Further Evidence That Birds Are Satan
Photo Credit: Reddit / throatfrog
Okay, we can all basically agree that birds are useless spawns of Satan. But, I’m going to turn this around a little bit.
I think they get a bad reputation because they live a life we all wish we had. All they do is poo on people and search for stray fries that have fallen on the ground. That sounds like a great life to me.
The Look Of Defeat
Photo Credit: Reddit / KevlarYarmulke
This kid was tasked with carrying all the food for his classmates and he did exactly what he was told not to do.
On the bright side, the sandwiches on the ground make for a more interesting free-for-all buffet. You couldn’t mix turkey and ham before, but now you certainly can. Coming up, a picture that shows the moment when a great day takes a quick dive to the worst day ever.
Not Today, Peacock
Photo Credit: Twitter / @GMA
There are certain animals that you’re just naturally going to be afraid of. For example, if you see a tiger, you’re instantly afraid and prepared to make a run for it.
But there are other animals that are vicious that catch you by surprise. Peacocks are one of them. They look so beautiful but they’ll run you down like Usain Bolt if you get on their bad side. The unpredictability almost makes peacocks scarier than tigers.
Don’t Talk To Me Before My Morning Coffee
It needs to be a law that you can’t talk to a coffee drinker in the morning before they’ve sipped their joe.
I don’t know about you, but I’m a completely different person before my coffee than I am after. I go from a snappy old man to a genuinely positive little kid after one sip.
Today Will Be A Goo- NOPE
Photo Credit: Imgur
It’s the little things in life that make a difference. Like when Dunkin Donuts employees draw a happy face on the cup, it instantly puts you in a good mood.
It’s also the little things that go wrong that can make the day awful. Yes, it’s just an iced coffee, but that iced coffee is probably this person’s lifeblood.
“I’m Just Out With The Girls”
Photo Credit: Instagram / @5thyear
This is the result of this girl telling her boyfriend that she’s just out for a girl’s night but actually went to the club.
She has to keep a consistent texting stream with her boyfriend so that he doesn’t think anything is suspicious. She’s doing a killer job at it too.
Bungee Jumping To The Sink
Photo Credit: Reddit / 301301
It’s that moment when you don’t know whether to tell someone they have toilet paper stuck to them or just leave it. It’s like when someone has a booger stuck to the outside of their nose, or if they have their shirt on backward.
The internal conflict circles around the fact that ignorance in some cases is bliss. Will it make it more awkward for them to know they just walked around all day with a booger the size of the Sears Tower hanging out? Probably.