American’s work some of the longest hours in the world. Whether you’re a dedicated factory technician, a Starbucks barista, or a Fortune 500 CEO, Americans wake up every morning ready to rise and grind. Even though our jobs are very different, our workplaces seem to have a suspicious amount of similarities.
There’s always that one co-worker who is HR’s best friend. Or the one who gets way too comfortable in meetings. And don’t even get us started about the breakroom politics and water-cooler gossip. These awful co-workers might actually make you thankful for the ones you have.
There’s Always One Person Who Does It Anyways
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This is the number one unwritten rule in an office, but finally, someone felt the need to write it down, and we thank them for it. Even though it’s loud and clear, there is still always one person in the office who does it.
They’re usually a fresh-faced intern named Jesse who bought salmon to try to be healthy and thought “it wouldn’t smell that bad.” Rookie mistake — the entire office hates you now.
Don’t Bring This Kind Of Negativity Into The Office, Karen
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There’s always one middle-aged woman who feels the need to include the entire office in her diet. Look, Karen, we get that you think hiding veggies inside a donut box is a funny joke, but you just ruined my Friday morning.
You and your Atkins diet can take your celery sticks and leave.
Now Is Not The Time Nor The Place
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This is what happens when you give the single 30-year-old woman a private desk area. She decides that taking a selfie while eating a banana is more important than balancing the monthly budget. She does zero work and spends the entire day updating her dating profile and somehow gets away with it.
The pizza worker coming up is the type of coworker you’d actually like outside of work, but dread showing up to a shift with.
I Already Have To See The 18 Photos Of Them On Your Desk
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Work relationships are a tough balance. You need to be friendly enough to survive the 9-5, but you don’t want to be so kind that your coworker actually wants to hang out after work hours.
That includes being interested in their kids, but not so involved that you are forced to watch a 30 minutes video of a dance recital.
That One Coworker Who Gets A Little Too Comfortable In Meetings
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Why do people think the 9 am Monday meeting is an extension of their morning routine? There’s always one person who shows up 10 minutes late, wears their sunglasses the entire time, and stretches out awkwardly in the chair like this guy.
This meeting isn’t your Saturday morning gym sesh, Jeremy.
Cody Is Walking A Dangerous Line
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This photo proves that your first fast food job is a prime spot to meet all the worst types of coworkers that you’ll have to encounter for the rest of your life. Cody is the guy who is a laugh at the company Christmas party, but you dread working with because he does nothing at work.
Keep reading to see how one girl managed to trick her entire office, proving once again why we can’t have nice things.
This Makes Me Want To Steal Your Lunch Even More
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The breakroom fridge is a controversial area. Aside from everyone stealing each other’s food, it’s gross and always has that nasty smell. Part of me hates the people who bring full bags that take up half a shelf, but I understand why they do it.
This person killed two birds with one stone with a lunch bag that will protect his food from thieves, and from that awful smell.
The IT People Always Think They’re Top Dogs
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The IT people at work are a special breed of humans. They’re incredibly smart and incredibly laidback. They truly embody the idea of “work smarter, not harder.”
You want to hate them because they seem to have the easiest job. But in reality, they’ve saved your butt more than once when you’ve accidentally opened that chain e-mail.
No One Is Looking For You Anyways
Photo credit: Reddit
This sneaky way to skip work is genius, but let’s be honest, no one will notice if you’re gone. You can work hard for a week straight, and no one will notice anything has changed. The only time people will realize you’re gone is if it’s your week to bring cookies to the Friday meeting.
Keep reading got see how, just like fish in the microwave, there are also unwritten rules for when people bring cake into the office.
Productivity Level = Shaq At The Freethrow Line
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I want to hope this is the lowly intern’s desk, but it’s probably the desk of one of the most important people in the company.
I guess if you’re a Chief Information Officer getting paid six figures to analyze data systems, then you can afford a little time off for desk basketball.
That One Person Who Never Follows The Dress Code
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I know that employees should feel comfortable at work, but this Subway employee is taking it too far. There’s always one person that slowly and steadily pushes the boundaries on the dress code.
The dress code is business casual? Let’s see how long it takes for upper management to notice me wearing jorts and a golf shirt every day.
Zero Respect For The Cake Laws
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Cake in the office is always a good thing, but there are some unwritten rules that you have to follow. Never wait in line. Grab a piece when no one else is there, so it seems like you aren’t desperate. Never take the last slice. And most importantly, never cut a random middle piece like the person above did.
Dirty dishes and stolen food are two of the most common problems in offices. The photos up next prove how kitchen etiquette is a struggle for everyone.
If You’ve Been In A Coworking Space, You’ll Understand
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Your average breakroom usually isn’t this bad. Everyone knows each other and knows that they will get called out for leaving dishes behind.
But anyone who has been in a coworking space where all the tenants don’t know each other has struggled with dirty dishes everywhere because no one can get it trouble.
No One Wants Your Expired Milk, Gerald
Photo credit: @WYP_PC3220Sharp / Twitter
I feel like people at work are overly possessive of the weirdest foods. I agree it is frustrating when someone steals your delicious leftover stir-fry, but why does milk matter this much?
Who is realistically stealing a glass of milk? No one craves milk. And no one brings cereal to work with the expectation of using someone else’s expired milk.
It’s So Kind Of Others To Personify The Food I’m Stealing
Photo credit: @FussySaffa / Twitter
A lot of people think writing their names on a food item will make a difference. Trust me — no one is going into that fridge and not stealing your food just because they know whose it is now. If anything, it will make people more strategic with who they steal food from.
Keep reading for a new idea on how to waste time in those useless training meetings you’re forced to attend.
It’s A Valid Question
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People might say this sign is rude, but who hasn’t had this exact thought at work? What’s the point of passive-aggressive notes if people won’t bother to read them?
I think the flaw of the first note was that the graphics were too good and the text wasn’t visible enough. I think the second note is pretty clear though.
Glad To See That Your Boss Trusts You
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This boss thought a webcam was a clever way to keep watch over their employees, but it just makes you look even worse. If you can’t even open your door and take a walk around to get to know your employees, you’re probably not a well-liked boss.
This webcam is like the adult version of the kid on the schoolyard who was a snitch.
What’s The Point Of That Two-Hour Weekly Training Session Again?
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That weekly training session usually turns into two hours of your coworkers complaining about work while the supervisors pretend to take notes and care.
If you’re struggling to get through those meetings, developing opposite hand penmanship is a challenge to help the time go by.
How Does Anyone Get Through The Workday Without Snacks?
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People who can get through the workday without any snacks on hand are probably psychopaths. Whether it’s popcorn in a hoodie or a granola bar on your break, snacks are the only thing that can motivate me through the day.
And no, we’ve been over this Karen — celery sticks don’t count as a snack.
Check Out His Soundcloud
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Then, of course, there’s the one coworker who is only at work to advance their acting, singing, or rapping career. This is most of the baristas and waitresses in Los Angeles, but apparently, it can happen.
Next time this guy should try writing his Soundcloud link at the bottom of receipts. It’s less obvious but equally effective.